I have always been a shy person, but when you're in the world, you're no longer a private person. At a time I feel if privacy isn't a myth like any other story? I believe everyone of us is living a story, a fictitious journey, whose every fragment appears to be so real to think otherwise. Somebody rightly said that only fiction reveals the true reality. I don't find any difference between fiction and reality. As Pablo Picaso rightly said that "everything you can imagine is real". What I love about life is not that it is a fixed destination rather a journey, whose direction is seldom commanded or have any particular direction. I believe, my life is already determined to a large degree. The concept of free will is quite mythical. My language, culture, identity, religion, genetics, and environment, etc. are already determined here. I have done nothing to choose between these things which are so integral to my being. My life is determined by many accidental journeys, which were never dreamed or thought by me ever. I never thought to pursue LL.B., LL.M. or Ph.D. Academic was not even in my imagination. But life has its own direction. You may live either as a sole director to command a direction but with little success or you may accept what comes and keep working with love and passion. I was interested in music, theatre, cricket, etc, a typical Indian guy with popular dreams. I always felt being popular is the definition of success until I became acquainted with Lao Tzu and his book. Popularity comes at certain cost. People don't realize this when they choose a life of celebrity. You stop living the moment you start pretending to be a nice guy with fake smiles. Simplicity or happiness can never be advertised or claimed. The moment one claims to be simple, sober, or nice those qualities fade away. I always felt that India does not like people with scholarly bent of mind. Success is defined here with outward achievements. Even if inner happiness or a sense of compassion barely exist in those successful guys. Only those, who are concerned with self interest, are considered as prudent and wise. I have seen many people around me who like to be called as practical. I have not yet understood what does it mean? Every person has the blend of ideals and practices. One cannot be devoid of ideas or ideals just like one cannot live without action.
My journey is defined not by what I have achieved. In fact, I have failed so many times in so many ways that whatever little fortunes have come in my way are miraculous. Albert Einstein rightly said that "there are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle".
I believe in the latter part of the sentence. Everything is miraculous, I believe. The people you are acquainted with; the opportunities to feel and live is wonderfully blissful, at a time, suffering is quite real. But to feel the sunshine of morning, the chirping and tweeting of existence are quite soothing. I love to observe the power of healing, which is an integral part of nature. We humans are week in memory so that we are able to forget the miseries and to embrace the freshness of existence. I don't believe in dreams now. It makes me too anxious to forget the present for a distant future, which may or may not come in the way I think. It's better to feel every single leap, every single breath than to carry on the burdens of past or the expectations of unknown future. Living in the moment is the most arduous task to achieve. We humans are so imaginative. At a time, it proves to be boon and curse as well. All our sufferings are related to mental attitude. Stoics of Greco-Roman civilizations taught me this lesson like Buddha already shared this wisdom with humanity much earlier. Especially, meaninglessness is the biggest challenge for today's human's lives once the basic needs are fulfilled. I think, only way to approach this problem is to silently observe our finite existence; Heidegger was perhaps right to suggest that the true freedom could be available for those who are ready to face their own nothingness. In his words, "If I take death into my life, acknowledge it, and face it squarely, I will free myself from the anxiety of death and the pettiness of life - and only then will I be free to become myself".
I know, quite often, I write bit of complex sentences. It's, of course, not for the sake intellectualizing things, but due to my inability to write it more simple and clear. Good writers mirror the world in their small world of words. Thanks for reading. Good night!!
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