I am not what I think

Life is really a journey and not an endpoint. When I look at the process, the life cycle of life, there is no end, no finality. There are many a journey, many a movement, ceaselessly changing and transforming, dieing and living in a same process of life. No matter what you endeavour for, nothing is permanent, everything is in flux, to refer the wisdom of Heraclitus. The thing which amuses me is a thing that hollows out every bit of my pleasure. Sometimes, good health makes me happy and adventurous, but the same health in another moment deteriorates. My condition as a healthy being becomes a source of pain and suffering.

Immutability is a mythical expression of a philosopher. Life is full of expression, so our vision is also on a journey. When I start treating every a bit of happenings around me, as if it is inevitable, that desire to direct my life goes away from my imagination. I am not a director of my life, instead a passenger who has to live by everything comes across me. I feel happy with the things and phenomenons happen inside and outside me. I try my best to feel life as it is, no more no less. In that sense, I become a patient gazer of nature and its phenomenal zeal of creation and deterioration.

Buddha rightly says that dissatisfaction is an inbuilt default setting in human desires which is simply unquenchable, no matter what you achieve, that desire will take its wings and baffles you. I fly very high in spirit and imagination. But, in that process I start feeling a sense of dizziness, as if something I am missing here. How many places, how many destinations, how many friends, everything goes way in a journey of space and time. And when I try to remember them, this vulnerable memory fades away and blurs everything what was there in front of my eyes sometime ago. In that sense, I feel I'm not that being who was just a moment ago. It is just a temporal sense of memory which unites my beings, my scattered experiences into one unit, and into one person. And in this process, only truth remains; change!

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