I'm here writing to talk, to connect with what I'm, and what I'm not. I'm not a being, same every time I perceive myself in mirror. I'm full of contradictions, unorganized, indisciplined creature, and fail to will often for perfection. Every time I try to be perfect, then each time my understanding of the perfection differs from what I had colours earlier in my consciousness. I question my ego if it is the same what I knew a second ago? Isn't it imperfect, imperceptible, and incomprehensible destination? Can I promise someone and would be able to fulfil that promise, with the intensity I visualized at the moment of promise? Probably not! Look I'm not what you were thinking about me at the moment I promised you! Neither you're now what you were at the time of promise! But I and you presume a 'we,' the same 'we', who were earlier in a holy relationship of promiser and promisee, and proceeded like 'we', then divorce appears later on as a reality. In fact, divorce was there, at the very moment we were translocated from the 'veil of bond'. Can there be a bond without divorce and vice-versa? Can there be hate without affection? Can there be violence without peace? I, you, and we are the possible imagined structures, the signs, of beings, what we are not! We all exist here for the moment we think we are here, die and live at the moment, without any reality of past, because it's always distorted at the whims and fancies of the present, and without any potentiality of future, because we corrupt the reality with the power of gliding imaginations. We die, cry, love, hate, respect, and suspect without any limitations of ego. My ego is insatiable and limitless, unless I realize I'm not what I think about me. In fact, I'm contradicting myself again and again, not to gain anything which deserves an adjective, instead it's natural to flow like a river, fall like a waterfall, and dance like a tree, and angry like a Sun! I illuminate sometimes the pure energy of love and other time swallow all the possible light in desire of peace and meditation. I say what I don't prefer to do and love doing what I don't preach! In fact, I don't desire to be strict like a corpse and predictable like a lamb. I enjoy and hate my contradictions. Yes, I'm all the possible contradictions!
पढ़ता हूँ हर एक दिन एक ही पन्ना, हर दिन हज़ार ये मालूम पड़ते हैं। जबसे होश संभाला है एक ही पन्ना सवांरते आया हूँ, लोग इसे ज़िन्दगी कहते हैं। इसपे लिखे हर एक लब्ज़ जो मेरे मालूम पड़ते हैं, ना जाने कितने जुबां पे चढ़े होंगे। आज हम भी कुछ पल के लिए ही सही इसके सारथी हैं, जाने से पहले कुछ रंग मेरा भी इसपे चढ़ जाए, बस इसीलिए एक ही पन्ना बार बार पलटता रहता हूँ। हर कोई अनजाने किताब की तलाश में बाहर निकलता है, जिसका हर एक पन्ना वो ख़ुद है। जब ख़ुद के रंग को समझ ही ना पाया, तो भला इंद्रधनुषी किताब के क्या मायने हैं? अस्तित्व में ना जाने कितने पन्ने बिखरे पड़े हैं, बस एक से ही अवगत हो जाऊँ, उसके हर एक शब्द को चुनता जाऊँ, कुछ पल के लिये सही, पिरोता जाऊँ एक माला ज़िन्दगी का।
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